Friday, December 11, 2009

RAPE!

I usually write about things that piss me off.
this was mildly amusing, but the sheer stupidity pissed me off.

this is how it went.

I was on the bus to campus the other day...and 4 women get on at the edge of the campus. In each of their hands was a plastic bag with the words
"RAPE. Talk About It. Prevent it".



Now this to me was a stupid idea....naturally it was evident that the 4 of them had just got back from a talk on rape...
Now I dont usually get into sensitive topics like this, but in this case I just have to point out the sheer stupidity in the validity of the concept of talking about rape to prevent it.

Now dont get me wrong, i hold women in the highest respect, and i do believe that any one who violates women deserves to have a nuke fired up his ass. But i also believe that an all women group talking about rape CANNOT prevent it....at least not until you get the men involved.
Unless the men attend a focus/support group or whatever it is teaching them how to "keep it in their pants" talking about rape cannot prevent it.
Also lets face facts. Talking will also not help prevent rape for the simple fact that rape by definition means that the women have no say in the whole "process". cuz if they did, then it wouldnt be rape.

so a word of advice to all women.
MACE. see image below.



My advice: Though all forms of mace are equally discouraging I recommend the middle one.

Monday, November 02, 2009

No nothing!

there are times when i look at my life and it makes me laugh out loud ...i mean seriously. while its not hilarious or worth turning into a sitcom or anything, its certainly something, that some one could look at and probably laugh.
i know its not possible to run from certain things that need to be faced, but there are times when you feel you need to change your life and this is not what you should be doing...or maybe you are sick of a certain rut you are in... so what do you do?? be proactive and make some changes in your life. and then you are happy for a while thinking ..yeah now im better off... life kicks you in the shins. and it will do that my friend, just you wait.

So anyways, you observe after a while that the changes you made arent exactly working out the way you expected them to....and guess what? your sorry ass is back to square one, and not only are you in a rut, but you are in the same bloody rut you were in before...now isnt that nice?

and as you lay on the floor holding your shins in your hands, life kicks you in the kidneys, kinda a sweet way of saying, dont try that again, or its gonna get worse.
And so slowly comes the realisation that come what may, your life is gonna be a certain way, and nothing you or anyone around you can do anything about it. and you are gonna have to deal with it...cause thats the way it is!

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

The shallow end

There is so god-damned-much to life.
why cant people see that?
simple existentialism? is that it?
are we now living day to day?
wtf? i mean i have met so many shallow individuals...its crazy...i was just thinking about all these people stupid mornic assholes that ive met in my life and i momentarily lost my sanity and my cool at the same friggin moment.
These are the people who have completely lost the plot. cant see the picture and have nothing in life that they are passionate about.
friends family memories...it doesn't mean shit.

These are the people who will ask you "how you doin"?" but wont pause to let you answer....and will ask you this irrespective of the fact that you are bleeding at the arteries. the reason? they dont care...blind and passive. shallow and uncaring. not callous mind you....just living day to day, hour to hour and minute to minute.
im sure we all know or have known at least one person like this...some one who just didnt care...i mean a carefree attitude is something, but this shit just gets on my nerves....
i dont know what i mean to say, but c'mon people show some spirit. let life mean something to you...a

Monday, June 29, 2009

Inner demons.

the voices were louder.
i turned up the volume.
i tried to drown out the voices.
it wasn't meant to be.i couldn't drown them out.
there were too many of them ….against only me….and they were too loud.
inner demons are always tough to drown out that way.
screams from my inner self, they were scrambling to get out.
screaming at me for attention, like the beggar on the street trying to catch your eye. once you were locked in, you were caught, there is no way out, no turning back. it was final.

i dont know what they were screaming about from the depths of my conscience, but what im sure about is that i didnt want to know…..
im probably scared of what they would have to say to me.
Probably something pointed out to me that ive swept under my mental rug.
im running from these voices but it feel as if im on a treadmill....i can run all i wanna but im no further from where i started.

the voices are closer and louder and tendrils of the screams lick at my ankles.snaring me tripping me.trying to pull me in.
salvation.music.help.
i change the track, turn the volume higher and pray.
salvation.music.louder.help.
help.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Toothpaste

I've been watching a very little television since ive been here and so far im not impressed.I mean let the quality of ekta kapoors smut alone and we have some pretty seriously shitty quality of advertising...and whats been getting my goat on a super pissing off rating is toothpaste.
Yes toothpaste.
Ok first of all....am i using it for one friggin tooth?
Tooth paste! Tooth paste my ass!
Seriously.
One fine day i was standing there brushing my teeth and reading the toothpaste tube and you wont believe the shit on the toothpaste.
for best results squeeze at bottom and flatten as you go up.
now for a perv like me, thats absolutely hilarious, but even more important.... for best results..wouldnt it be better if we applied teh correct amt of teethpaste and brushed our teeth for a full 5 minutes in a carefully regimented drill?

another funny this is my teethpaste claims to be '100% Vegetarian'.
who the hell wants a vegetarian toothpaste?
I mean I want the peppermint and calcium and stuff for fresh breath.... and all the chemicals that are gonna make my teeth shine like in the ads...i dont want a tooth paste made out of bhindi and baingan and onions....jeez that would be the day, brushing my teeth with onion flavoured toothapste with garilc and ginger for that room clearing smile, I'd like to see one of them ads...how bout you?

now coming to the advertising i was talking about ....i saw this ad where this guy was sitting in a airplane biting into a chip and his tooth hurts. Suddenly a news reporter woman with an angry stern face shows up from the fore of the plane and offers him a toothpaste ..'now with salt'...
i was like 'wtf'
first it was micro granules which would rub against your teeth and fight plaque and tarter and all that BS and I was like 'whats my tooth brush good for then?'
and now vegetarian toothpaste with salt???
i mean i would rather brush my teeth with a salted carrot stick, what do i need your friggin toothpaste for?
'jaago grahac jaago'
toothpaste my ass!

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

A minions tail

He sighed. He kept on sweeping, he was bound to it.

The evening light filtered through the broken wall where the Purple-Knight-of-Valor had broken in with his horse the Brown-Steed-of-Confusion, and had come in through the wall instead of the open archway just a foot to the left.
The light also filtered thru the arch way.

The drawbridge across the moat was down (mostly damaged but still intact) since the battle mostly due to fleeing minions and a cowardly dragon. The minion kept on sweeping, as he tried to pull together his frazzled nerves and recollect the events of the day.

He had got up at the crack of 7:30 in his regulation ditch in the basement, it was nice and damp there and he had gotten some well deserved rest during the night. He had begun to sweep the castle where he worked for the Dark-Lord-of-Oversight and had been sweeping for but a few hours when the Purple-Knight-of-Valor and his Brown-Steed-of-Confusion had burst through the wall (inches from where he had been sweeping an hour ago) and had demanded that the Dark-Lord-of-Oversight hand over the Mauve-Princess-of-Tranquility (she wasn't really mauve), and when the Dark-Lord-of-Oversight refused the Purple-Knight-of-Valor had proceeded to lay the place to waste (during which the drawbridge opened and was partially destroyed. The minion also suffered a broken toe as a result of being run over by the above mentioned cowardly dragon).

The Purple-Knight-of-Valor had kept on laying the place to waste until he realized that the Dark-Lord-of-Oversight had forgotten to lock the cell in which the Mauve-Princess-of-Tranquility was kept whereupon he stopped laying the castle to waste and liberated the princess. The two of them had gotten on the Brown-Steed-of-Confusion and had ridden off into the afternoon sun.

The Dark-Lord-of-Oversight had been killed in one of the fires on the second floor of the castle where he had over looked putting in fire extinguishers. Oh well karma was a bitch thought the minion to itself and kept on sweeping.

At this point you would probably ask if the Dark-Lord-of-Oversight was dead and the castle was in ruins why was the minion still sweeping and had not fled like his friends. Good point!

The reason the minion had not fled was this.
Due to a minor clerical error made in the 2nd dungeon from the left wing of the castle the minion was bound not to the master but to the castle and was bound to his sweeping duties for a lifetime.

2 days of sweeping later

The Maroonish-Blue-Knight-of-Indecision rode by the semi ruined castle on a Colorless-Steed-of-No fame, and wondered if perhaps there were any princesses that needed saving. His resume was pretty sketchy and dry and he needed something good like saving princesses up there to help land a cushy job. And with this in mind he sauntered over to the castle.

Shouting to the minion through the broken part of the wall he said "Oye minion, any princesses left to save in this dilapidated dump?"

The minion who was still sweeping and who couldn’t be bothered looked up with one eyebrow raised and replied "Does it look like any princesses need saving?"

"You’re right" replied the Maroonish-Blue-Knight-of-Indecision scratching his head and aching to get at that itch in his armpit which he had been trying to get to since mid-morning. It had been driving him crazy.

"It doesn’t look like any princesses would be living in this dump. Any dragons that needed slaying perhaps?" he replied licking his lips and trying to reach for his armpit under his breastplate rather unsuccessfully (dragon slaying was right up there with rescuing princesses).

"Nope!" came the cheerless reply from the minion.
Dejected, crest fallen and rather itchy all over by now the Maroonish-Blue-Knight-of-Indecision turned to mount his steed and ride away when the minion thought of something. A loop hole. He looked around and saw the half-broken-down-heap-of-a-castle around him and yelled for the Maroonish-Blue-Knight-of-Indecision to come back.

The minions spell had indicated a lifetime binding to the castle, but didn’t mention whose life time and the minion planned to exploit this weakness to gain his freedom, but first he had to sell the idea to the knight.

The knight was not convinced that knocking down a half destroyed and burnt castle would qualify for any thing greater than say kissing a princess to bring her to life and refused citing it just wasn’t worth the effort.

The minion sighed. He kept on sweeping, he was bound to it.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Read the Signs!

Some times funny shit happens in the most common place unfunny situations..most of these times its very subtle and hardly noticeable.
I have this habit of observing people and stuff. The small details? Get it. Ill probably notice that one of the screws on the seat panel is screwed in crooked.You get the idea! so anyway, i catch stuff you probably missed.
The other day i was waiting for the bus and there were a whole bunch of people with me.Nothing out of the ordinary.Happens every day.

The bus comes we get on.My stop comes and I get off.
Now along with me a few other people get off too.
Among these people are 1 Indian girl and 1 Indian guy (the story is set here in Gainesville).Now i had randomly noticed them from before.They had gotten on the bus right behind each other but had chosen separate seats.they had gotten off thru separate bus doors, like plausible strangers.
But as soon as they got of the bus the girl caught up with the guy.and was walking side by side with him.I was trying to guess.
1st i thought strangers! (happening to walk in the same direction)
2nd i thought ok friends!! shes walking with him!
I was watching her steps.she had to make an effort to keep up with him.but she kept a low profile nonchalant conversation with him as if all were normal.
A few seconds into her trot she leaned toward the guy, their shoulders touching.
the dude leaned imperceptibly and unconsciously away.she pulled back (probably in disappointment) and kept matching his pace their arms slack by their side.


Thats when i noticed her arm muscle clench and unclench. the palm of her hand open toward him.SHE WANTED HIM TO HOLD HER HAND!!!!
that so fuckin cracked me up.This poor sap had ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NO IDEA that the girl liked him.....!!!
Her arm unconsciously looked around for his as he reached for something in his jacket pocket.
her arm shook in frustration and she pulled it back up and crossed her arms in front of her.

In retrospect i don't believe even the girl knew she wanted him to hold her hand.
the whole scene must have lasted about 5 seconds.
Good day!