Folly

From her vantage point she saw both armies approaching. A cloud of dust on opposite sides of her horizon.approaching at great speed. The sun glinting of a random piece of armour or blade. They weren’t large armies so to speak. Maybe a thousand horses and fifty thousand foot soldiers. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that the armies were evenly matched.
It would be a bitter and brutal fight, she thought to herself. Something moved on the ground a hundred feet below her. She raised her wings, but as an after thought she settled down again. No today she would be after bigger game. She thought about the folly of men. How they thought that war was the solution. War she had heard didn’t determine who was right; it just determined who was left.
Whoever would be left today she knew who would really benefit from today’s battle.
The armies came closer to each other. it seemed to her that the stand off point would be directly below her.
It didn’t matter, it didn’t. Not to her she was just a bystander. And she would watch as the sands turned red and the air would be filled with the screams of those who willingly died in vain for the frivolous whims of their leaders who while they were fighting on the dunes were stuffing themselves and indulging themselves.
She looked upon the faces of one of the armies which got closer. Stolid faces, expressionless. Some showed unbridled fear. It was natural.
The need to stretch her wings arose. Bad timing she thought. Armies wouldn’t consider her appearance a good omen, but on the other hand they wouldn’t fire arrows at her before the battle, would they? It was relatively safe.
She spread her wings and dropped the sheer face of the cliff caught an updraft and glided higher that her perch. At the pinnacle of her glide she let out a high pitched call which made the armies look up to the cutting sound in the hot desert atmosphere.

The face off was in position, it would not be long now.
The call was given and the armies headed into each other.
It was long and brutal and she watched as the battle raged all day and the armies fought tooth and nail, finally it was over one of the two surrendered. Who? She didn’t know. More over she didn’t care.

The sun went down on the desert and the battle was over. The armies retreated taking their dead with them. But not all was possible. The carnage was left and it would feed her and her brood of baby vultures for month
And as the armies retreated she had settled down to a good dinner. After all what did she care if man sought to fight futile wars? All she cared was to feed her young with the carrion that would be in supply for the near future.

unfinished business...


in life sometimes you come across moments when you are no longer in control.
some times you no longer control situations. they control you..
it happened to me once...

i don’t smoke..
Ok ok i smoked recently for a month but quit..
this is before that

well i had taken drags from friends and the norm is that a ciggie is usually passed around
and shared.. no one hogs the cancer stick..
still i wanted to know how it would feel like to buy my own ciggie and smoke t all alone all
by my self...
well..
i went out and bought it...
i remember it was during exams time and prep leave was at an end i was at my wits end...
and i guess i wanted to know whether or not a ciggie actually calms your nerves..

now the main aim was to smoke this in complete privacy without sharing it...
impossible task when you live with friends and friends visit and over 70% of them smoke..
and who are usually too broke to buy one themselves and who are ever ready to help you finish
the cigarette

well i bought home the white slender devil of death and caressed its smooth white papery exterior...

i locked the door and settled back to light it...
just then some one knocked.. my roomie..
ok a smoker... i hid the cig in my pants...
opened the door...

he hung about 1/2 a hour before his girl called and he left to talk on the phone..
alone at last..
i locked the door again...
this time i managed to light the bitch...
i inhaled and let the fingers of smoke curl down my lungs held it there...
released it slowly (like i saw ppl doing)
some one knocked...
man this smoking alone thing was wrecking my nerves...
the ciggie didn’t calm them( if you were interested in knowing)
in fact i would now need some thing to calm me now..i went to the window of my room and kept
the cig on the sill behind the curtain...and kept the cig there(lit) hoping that i would send
off who ever it was..

but alas fate was against me smokin that day...

it was S_____ for want of mentioning his name...
any way..
now S______ was broke and ready to bum a ciggie from any where..
in fact he was notorious for picking up 50 paise coins and coming up with the money for a "chhoti goldflake"
you get my drift?
well..
he had come to study something from me...
alarm bells rang..
if he smelt the tobacco my cig would be history...
at the same time i feared the curtain would go up in flames...

i told him to sit in the chair and that i would be right back
i went out to the balcony and tried to reach the cig from out side...
i managed...

ever put out a cig after smokin half..?
it takes a bit of practice to detach the lit part for the rest of the body without wasting
tobacco...
well i managed...
i hid the amputated cig in the balcony..
and went back....to S___
who of course then went to the balcony claiming that he could smell "sutta'
well any way he didn’t find it...
i still have that half cig as a reminder of that day.
the day fate would not allow me to complete my cig.
the unfinished sutta

IM GONNA BLOW MY FUSE!!!

my life is so MOFO frustrating right now its not even funny. i mean.its not takling the direction i want it to take.worst part...i dont know what direction i want it to go.
im shattered.
im broken.
im not the man i thought i was.
im not the rebel i thought i was.
im not the conformist either.
im torn.between the two!

i believe im the rebel and i give a damn.
but my mofo conscience sees to it that im " Mr. nice guy".
no bullshit!
i been "Mr. nice guy" all my life..
now i wannabe "Mr. I dont give a flying fuck"
i mean.
this is my life. now as i spaek.as i type.plannning the future..but what about now?

if im gonna be remembered by what i do then what have i done?
conformed!

tcha!!!
i hate my life & im a split personailty!
except that some one is in control i dont know who!
im afraid its the nerd.
and the rebel is gonna BLOW !


the rebel has had all he can take.the nice guy may have a physcotic IMPLOSION!
Yes! No!
he cant decide!
will he?
wont he?
and why is'nt life as simple as I say...i say "life is simple dont complicate it"...
well well what have we here ?...

shades of grey!

a sigh of despair and the overwhelming of fruitlessness, the frustration that accompanies it.
all waves wash over himlike an endless wave!

imagine standing on a sand castle of dreams..and the waves of despair, practicality and sorrow lap up to the walls of the castle then up to your toes takling back with them your hopes, desires, joy.
all into a hopless sea of sorrow despair and of course your tears.
and it tears you apart to feel your pain the fruitlessness and the same old "YOU CAN LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH"
and "SO NEAR YET SO FAR" & the "haath ko aaya muh na lagaa" effect!

would having her in my life made a shred of difference?
would my sorrow have been joy or mirth?
no one knows...i guess maybe unless in some parallel universe the REBEL lives on!

comfortably DEAD

thats me in the corner.
thats me in the spot light
losing my religon.
- R.E.M.

its been hurting and im sad.
something has changed.i have secrets.my own.i cant tell these to anyone.my friends and confidants. my relation ships have changed or have i?
i feel sick.there is so much i want to say , i'm confused.it makes me sick to my stomach.this is like puking but i cant find i place to puke.its a bad example but i need a friend.
i miss getting things off my chest.. it hurts so much that i jus wanted to curl up and die.
it sounds good.
almost comfortable thought.
life is cruel.
life is a pain.
it would bliss to be free of this burden of life and burn in hell....
the warm fires.
last night i cried i was so lonely and slept and dreamt , i was happy!
i had a life in this dream and i smiled and i was happy.
like i said life is cruel for i woke to the harsh reality!
shed a tear for me cause self pity is pathetic!

Dragon Death

hi its my first foray into poetry (well it started out as death metal lyrics) and i apologize for the vast amount of license i have taken..
it wanders between second and third person...or is that first person?
well any way i wrote it in class.... while my prof was droning on.. bloody boring
and this visual came up....
so here it is

Dragon Death

Rabid Flesh
& Fetid breath.
jaundiced eyes,
jaws of death.

feel the sweat
taste the fear
say good bye
to your dear.

see her torso
swallowed whole
chewed up flesh
& splintered bone.

See her remains
in a spat out heap.
along with the ring
you bade her, keep.

Sword in hand
And scabbard true
The beast he set
Out to slew.

The beast retreats
to its lair.
He pursued it,
for vengeance fair!

The battle rage'd
& blood was drawn
War ensued
'tween beast and man.

Tooth and nail
and elven mail.
Blade of steel
and dragon scale.

Night and day
ensued the fray.
Ardor flagged
the skies turned gray.

A chance was took
his armour shook
a wave of horror
upon his look.

His sword was throw
he felt himself rise.
In the dragons claws
was his life Pried.

His body thrown
among the rocks.
His life blood flow'd
matted his locks.

He lay there dying
& with his last breath
he called out to her
before his death

For her honour
a brave man died
to avenge her death
his dead bride.

web of lies

One fool mortal sits alone.. dreaming dreams of fancy. Weaving together memories and expectations together in a web in which the only prey is himself.one fool moral looks about himself and sees people happy. He does not reason but only looks more inwards and wonders whether or not is he happy. He looks to the others happiness and tells himself that he cares not.. but he does.. so some one had told him .. once.. long ago.. in another lifetime.. or so did it seem?

He wallows in his own pain.. lets his sorrow calm him down.. his thoughts and wishes.. blurred by the vision of the joy of others… he feels dejected rejected and alone in this over populated planet.. how is that possible he wonders.. and he is sad
Nothing like pain through the heart to feel sorry for ones self.
Some one once told him.. self pity is the worst enemy.. he didn’t listen.. he pities himself and feels sorry…
And the pain ravages on!

Tragedy Scavengers

every one seems to like a good tragedy.
the public is a bunch of sadistic pigs.. jus comin home i have to come over a railway over bridge..
its kind of, how you say a suicide magnet.. ppl like jumping off.. to think of it its kind of hard to imagine taht ust yesterday i stood there..where a man has just jumped off to his death...

my first clue was an ambulance jus standing near the tracks, bu6t since the driver was jus packing gutkha in his mouth i assumed he was jus parked there taking a break then i got on the overbridge and sw the sight..

there were bicycles parked by the dozens on either side of the overbridge with people looking down upon what i assume is a gory and bloody sight..
not only cycle.. but there were scooters bikes cars and even a tourist bus.. i kid you not...

people with sunglasses and helmets in shirts and shorts, either headed out or home, to office or work, in a hurry or at leisure had stopped to take a look at the dead body of some poor soul who was probably had enough of the burden on his delicate soul while a train had done the honours of cutting him in two.. depending...

people leaning over the wall as if they were at a tourist spot in the hills looking down upon a valley, smiling and taking pictures for their albums...
its a sick world we live in.perverted and sadistic...

are you part of this world?

shame upon you

we have lost it!
why wont some one stand up and admit it?
are we ashamed to say that as a race of men and women who were created equal among animals has evolved into.. into this?
this shithole we call a gene pool?
greed and hunger ....the call of money and power ..
thats all that rules the mind today.
look around you ..
capitalism everywhere..
hang your head in shame as a human.
I spit upon us!
every this is ruled by money.
there is no love no humanity no feelings no care
slaves to capitalism is what i believe it to be.
i call out TO YOU! break free...