dreams and desires

Life is a fleeting moment in the span of eternity. A mere blink. We are born and then we die and in between is all we have. And we make a big deal out of it. Shouldn’t we? It’s all we have after all.

This moment in eternity, unexplained as to the how’s’ and why’s, exists. It’s ours and no one else’s. Yet we are afraid to live it. To experience it. We surround ourselves with priorities and goals to achieve. We value money over experience. Work over friends. Values over love. And we forget that we are here with just this blink of an eye. We forget to make the most of it. We forget to see the sun set everyday. To feel the earth with our bare hands. To think the thoughts our mind is capable of. To feel. To love. To live. To be free.

Don’t wake up one day with half your life behind you and wonder what happened. Why are so many of your dreams incomplete. Why are your desires left blowing in the wind?

Instead ask what’s stopping you from achieving that. You will find that nothing holds you back except for fear.

I’ve been struggling with my mortality and my life so far. My eyes have opened to the reality of this life I have so far lived. And I’m suddenly aware that it’s been a sham. A shadow on what could have been. And I have regrets. Oh so many regrets. As I wipe the condensation off my face I realise this is not the life I wanted. But I need the strength to change it. Courage.  To overcome the fear.

And yet I find that I’m alone. Very very alone. In a world that’s so so large.

Turbulence

You've probably noticed a pattern here. Hate. Anger. Rage. Expulsion of various other emotions. Including sorrow and loss.
I may be breaking a pattern here.
I'm a little lost. A little scared. Life is turbulent. And im lost at sea. Wave after wave of overwhelming thoughts crash upon me. Forcing me to drown in the feelings and emotions and aftermath of thoughts that form my mind.
And In my mind in trying to find my self and a life line. From within the turbulence I'm trying to find that right path that will help me overcome this maelstrom.

I'm like everyone else. Who doesn't like smooth sailing. To see the sunrise over a calm ocean while you sit on the deck and sip coffee. Or watch the orange suns glow light up the sky resembling a broken yolk with the calm slap slap of water on your watertight vessel? But it's important to find what will get you from the choppy waters to the calm ocean's. The right maps. The correct decisions..

You need to find yourself. In the turbulence of the mind you have to find what you want. What will give you peace. What feels is the right decision. For I believe the mind know what it wants. Destiny. Will. Doesn't matter. The mind knows. Will you ever be able to ask the right questions to get the right answer is what will separate us from drowning in the waters, or rising above.
What is the right question? That's the real question now. Isn't it?
I don't have the answer. Just the questions.

Dream on

She comes to me in my dreams

And runs her fingers through my hair.

She lets me drink deep from her eyes

And whispers in my ears

She tells to to have faith. And strength and courage.

She tells me to believe

But I'm weak. Without her I have nothing.

Faith courage strength fail without her by my side

Words mean nothing

Melody is lost

The bells are broken

And my mind is gone

She gazes sympathetically at me from under her perfectly shaped eyebrows

And tells me with a smile that there is nothing she can do.

I cry to her for help, but she just looks on

I feel her fingers brush upon my hand 

And then fade away

And as I reach out to her she backs away

Into the darkness

And I leap forward to find her fading away

And try as I may, I cannot keep up

And as she fades away

My world closes in upon me.

Turning my world and all that I am, to black.