Toothpaste

I've been watching a very little television since ive been here and so far im not impressed.I mean let the quality of ekta kapoors smut alone and we have some pretty seriously shitty quality of advertising...and whats been getting my goat on a super pissing off rating is toothpaste.
Yes toothpaste.
Ok first of all....am i using it for one friggin tooth?
Tooth paste! Tooth paste my ass!
Seriously.
One fine day i was standing there brushing my teeth and reading the toothpaste tube and you wont believe the shit on the toothpaste.
for best results squeeze at bottom and flatten as you go up.
now for a perv like me, thats absolutely hilarious, but even more important.... for best results..wouldnt it be better if we applied teh correct amt of teethpaste and brushed our teeth for a full 5 minutes in a carefully regimented drill?

another funny this is my teethpaste claims to be '100% Vegetarian'.
who the hell wants a vegetarian toothpaste?
I mean I want the peppermint and calcium and stuff for fresh breath.... and all the chemicals that are gonna make my teeth shine like in the ads...i dont want a tooth paste made out of bhindi and baingan and onions....jeez that would be the day, brushing my teeth with onion flavoured toothapste with garilc and ginger for that room clearing smile, I'd like to see one of them ads...how bout you?

now coming to the advertising i was talking about ....i saw this ad where this guy was sitting in a airplane biting into a chip and his tooth hurts. Suddenly a news reporter woman with an angry stern face shows up from the fore of the plane and offers him a toothpaste ..'now with salt'...
i was like 'wtf'
first it was micro granules which would rub against your teeth and fight plaque and tarter and all that BS and I was like 'whats my tooth brush good for then?'
and now vegetarian toothpaste with salt???
i mean i would rather brush my teeth with a salted carrot stick, what do i need your friggin toothpaste for?
'jaago grahac jaago'
toothpaste my ass!