Stationary motion

its been a tough year!
People dont tend to see that!
i agree i took a year off cuz i needed the break and i dont blame anyone

for that.
ive never asked anything of anyone unless i had no other option.
but people can be so beautifully callous!
So totally oblivious to what a person is going through.
they dont stop to think how one casual statement made from x's mouth will affect y.
its crazy but yes.

being alone and lonesome without a peer group will do that to you !
i survived !
no-thanks to a lot of ppl whom i wont mention, who went out of their way to make me extra miserable, by their lack of foresightedness. Where is the god i was promised, who would strike these mortal fools down with lightining?
But im not complaining!
Though i bet you are asking yourself by now "if he's not complaining what the hell IS he doing?"
to answer that..its jus a casual ranting and raving.
getting down to brass tacks...

this is about me goin off to the states.

yes! despite ppl telling me "you will get thru man!!"
and only me knowing the bleak future that was awaiting me the no of rejects i was getting from the colleges i smiled, put on a brave face and finally dove (cricket wala) to save the run...i made it

University of Florida!
hmm
sounds good, doesnt it?
Sun,Sand,Surf?
Holiday?? hmm perhaps!

ppl have been asking me "you must be excited nai?" ala sethi saab in khosla ka ghosla.
NOT ! its just another college and classes all over again.
Its scary.no one sees that. a new place. ALL new ppl, no friends.Its bloody scary, plus its like a newbie goin abroad cuz ive never been anywhere man! SHIT im so screwed.No one sees the fear .No one understands.
the world is bullshit!

they hear Florida and conjure pictures of Disneyland and beaches and what not...they imagine goin to the US is a holiday, some ppl come up with images of strip clubs and lap dances...whatever turns em on man!
PPl say bas ab to aish hai!
it'll be like studying in goa.

Who the fuck studies in goa man.I'm pissed!

but such is my destiny
Like the song "I stand Alone".I stood alone while i saw my friends take up work and move on with their lives , do well for themselves. I stood alone while i saw ppl take up their masters and are half thru with their courses.
And all the while i stood alone and watched them move on like a freight train rumbling past the platform with a lone spectator watching it pass by!

but now i get a chance to move on too!and like a phoenix from the ashes i will resurrect.
i can forge a new image.... a new personality if i want.
Who will i be?? will i be me or him? or the other guy. or will one of my famous split personalities take over...the studious one? the alcoholic? the control freak? Who knows? who cares?

The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that ill finally have a peer group and also its some thing i must do! its a calling! and even though i have no one to lean on i must trudge forward!

Screw the world! Im goin to Florida! - ala cartman